"You're not the sort of girl I normally go out with - I mean, you're loud, you're disorganized, your friends are an embarrassment."

I FINALLY started researching the presidential candidates. After I was given grief for not knowing who I was supporting, I decided it was time to at least know where everyone stands on the issues. So, I went to Barnes & Nobles and picked up The Undecided Voter's Guide to the Next President by Mark Halperin. So far, it has been very helpful, though it has made me more undecided about who I am going to vote for next year. This is going to be my first presidential election, so my guy better win : )

While browsing through Blockbuster last night, Lauren and I found a version of Pride and Prejudice that we had never heard of before, so we thought we'd give it a try (and it was free with out other movie). So, even though it was a super low budget movie made by Mormons with cheesy actors, there was a hilarious book that all the characters read called the Pink Bible: how to bring your man to his knees. By the way, no one is meant to take the advice seriously...ITS A JOKE...or at least I hope it is. So here's what you should fill your cart with at the grocery store:

- any fruit which could be easily fed to a partner, such as grapes of berries.
- pineapples, kiwis, or coconuts. these will make you seem exotic.
- vegetables. men rarely buy vegetables, so they will make you seem mysterious.
- flour, sugar, and baking powder. these create the illusion you can cook.
- bottled water. it makes you seem athletic.
- gum. it implies fresh breath. avoid mouthwash, which implies you have a problem.
- steaks. if men think you will provide them with steaks, your foot is already in the door.

The whole premise of the book is that men are "simple creatures" who must be ensnared by women. As we were laughing through the ridiculousness of the entire book, I realized for a moment that lots of women honestly believe they have to "trap" their man and get married. No wonder so many women are depressed...they've been taught they need to go out their and find their man...just a thought.

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment." (Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 6)

In other news, I'm trying to play the piano everyday and regain my "lost" talent. I took lessons when I was about 10, but after a year of complaining about practicing, my parents stopped the lessons. So, I'm determined not to lose what little remains of my piano skills, but unfortunately, its slow going right now.

: )